* Some have expressed a desire to share the art produced in this program under a pseudonym or anonymously. This section is presented first to support this need. Please read through the material and invitation below. You may choose to share your work under the name the adoption character you create here.
Claiming Your Story and Identity
Identity loss or confusion and feelings of un-safety are often main points of struggle post-discovery. Many LDA's contemplate changing their names. Some of the feelings that may be expressed are feeling lost, alone, out of touch with themselves, or floating. I too, considered changing my name. I felt a loss of my identity and a powerlessness.
Writing in my journal was one of my primary outlets. One day I felt inspired to begin writing a new story based on a dream I had. The main character was named Love Legit. Love came to represent the adopted part of me. The part of me who was lost and searching. I gave her two travel companions- an owl and a goat. The Owl came to symbolize her intuition while the goat came to represent her raw, unchecked emotional process. I continued to write Love's story for over a year - her story paralleling mine. Writing her story was a very healing experience for me; I believe this is because I was able to distance and even fragment parts of myself through this writing, and Love's story was more playful.
Rationale for this invitation: As I speak with LDA's, character/identity exploration/creation seems to be a common part of the process. Many have mentioned writing their story down, or making a movie or documentary about adoption - their own or someone else's; others explore adoption related media such as movies, songs, and so on. I believe this has to do with distancing oneself from their own emotions and journey, while also exploring the topic of adoption; the push and pull of wanting to connect with one's story, while also wanting to hide from it. What I am inviting you to do, is consciously create your adoption character! Using this character will enable you to explore adoption related issues in a way that is more distanced, almost third person. Of course, you are free to switch between perspectives as you wish. *Scroll down for the full invitation!
Below is a quote from Love's story:
“I chose my new name, Love Legit.
A reflection of my deepest wish; that I was ever legitimate or legitimately loved.”
Art invitation:
Take a moment to set your environment. Do you need music or quiet? Will you be writing or typing? Will you be drawing, painting or collaging? Pay attention to what you know about yourself and your process. Sometimes it can help to brainstorm words first, or to close your eyes and see if any images arise. When you feel ready, create your adoption character! The key here is to let your character come into being without judgement.
Please Consider:
What is important to this character? What is their story? Do they know their whole story or only parts of it?
Where do they live? Do they have important animals or people in their lives?
Very important, consider naming your character!
Please take a moment to add some words, music, video or something to tell us a bit about your character. Their story could be your story, something inspired by your story, or completely different... whatever speaks to you. Feel free to begin to write their story, if writing feels right for you at this time. Once finished, please consider sharing with others by uploading it to the fb group or emailing pictures to myself with a note of permission to upload it to the "Connection" page of this site, please make a note if you would like it to be in the "private" (accessible by other program participants) or "public" (accessible to anyone visiting the site) area. Requesting me to upload it to our Instagram, with or without mention of your name is also an option.
Self-care:
This kind of work can be costly, emotionally, spiritually, and even physically. Many people lack good self-care habits, and LDA’s are no exception. We will learn more about this is the next section, but for now, please know that YOU are worth taking care of. Please think of three activities that you find nourishing or grounding, and three people who “fill you up”. Following this exercise, please seek out the activities and people that make you feel good!